do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
