i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize