I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I have already put on my inside pants.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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