Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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