3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Send help, water and tortillas.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
he just fucked me for my cheese..
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
