pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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