Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
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