these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
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