my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Randomize
