Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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