Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
