i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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