so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
