his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
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