I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
