You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i was born a porn star she said
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
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