I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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