i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
