So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
