I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
third nipple confirmed
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
