Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
