In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
