I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
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