I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
