ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
you are never too drunk for berry picking
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
