...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
