jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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