Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
