Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
