babies were throwing up all over the place
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
