Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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