Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
