Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
