Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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