So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
