addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
