im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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