She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
