It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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