can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Randomize
