Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
