Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
