so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
