I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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