i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
No subtext here. People are naked.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
