belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
