she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
We are all done wearing pants today
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
