how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Floor bacon is actually really good
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
