you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
