o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
