So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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