Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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