omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
MIDGETS
????
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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