I love black thongs
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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