i would punch a child for taco bell
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
