Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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