We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
