He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
