when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
you win again, gameday.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
