Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
