All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Randomize
