I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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