I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize