Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize