Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Barsexuality is the new black.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Come share oat with me in your robe
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
