your thong is hanging out like whoa
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
It's never too late to be topless.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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