Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
