just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize