you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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